Friday, November 25, 2011

Things I hate

  • People who tell me that the miscarriage is God's will.  one, I am not Christian.  This bothers me when people who don't know me say it to me, but those who know me, and have known me for a while, they know I am not Christian, and therefor should not tell me that it is God's will.  One of my best friends tried this with me, but she said, maybe this was your God's will.  Maybe your God or Goddess didn't think it was the right time.  I'm like, seriously??  One, who's God would make you pregnant, and then take it away, because they thought you weren't ready?  Two, when people tell me that God did it because there was something wrong with the baby, I want to say, no, that is nature, that is biology, that is just what HAPPENS.
  • People who tell me that this is a good thing, because something was obviously wrong with the baby, and I wouldn't want to have to take care of a disabled child would I?  Seriously, that doesn't make things better.
  • People who tell me, at least you know you can get pregnant.  Yeah, that is not so reassuring.  Yup, I can get pregnant, then my body kills my baby, and I get to watch it bleed out into the toilet and go flush.  Yup, reassuring.
  • People who tell me that it was obviously not the right time.  If it wasn't the right time, why did I get pregnant??  Why the heck would I get pregnant, and then lose it??  If it wasn't the right time, then wouldn't I have just not gotten pregnant?
  • People who tell me that I already have kids, so I shouldn't worry about it, and that it's really not that bad.  I am still losing my baby.  It hurts, a lot, emotionally.  No, it is not as bad as it was before I had the kids, but it is still absolutely horrible.
  • And this one, last but not least, is not about people.  It is about pads.  They move, they don't stay, I still bleed everywhere, and I frigging hate the fact that I can't use a tampon like I do with a period.  I have never been a fan of pads.  
I think that is it.  I finally got pain medication from my doctor, and I am starting to feel a little loopy.  Which is ok, at least I am not in pain anymore.  And loopy is better than being a crying mess.

6 comments:

Cinderella said...

I am sorry that you hurt emotionally, physically and in your soul with the loss of the baby.

He/She deserves to be respected and mourned for the sweet being she/he was and could have been.
Rest in Peace, baby.

Heather said...

I am so sorry.

missohkay said...

I am so sorry. It sucks and no one should try to make it better with platitudes.

stinkb0mb said...

arrrrgh the "well at least you can get pregnant" line, i have heard that so MANY times over the past 11 year it is NOT funny.

yes i can get pregnant - yay.

yes i also have the womb of death. what no yay to that because that totally cancels out the yay to being to GET pregnant! you can get pregnant til the cows come home but it's pointless if you can't actually grow the pregnancy!

sending love

~x~

Ted and Maria said...

One time someone said to me, "Maria, I just have no idea what the hell to say." I gave her a hug, because it was the first "real" from-the-heart response I had ever received.

Many, many hugs for you, because no words make it better.

Jessica said...

Huuuuugs....<3