Thursday, August 11, 2011

2 times, 1 month

So, since having my IUD out less than a month ago, I have bled twice.  how in the heck am I supposed to figure out timing if I can't figure out my cycle??

One of my neighbors just had her baby, I got to hold it the other day.  I sniffed its head.  That is still counted as a fertility treatment, right?

My best friends niece is about 22 weeks pregnant.  She is moving into my apartment complex.

Her other niece just announced her pregnancy.  One is 18 one is 16-17.  The youngest one is married.  I am jealous.  Yup.  Very.

One of my kind of friends that moved away and its kind of awkward but we stay friends on FB, she just announced her pregnancy.  She had her first U/S today, she is almost 9 weeks.  She saw the heartbeat.

I know.  I just started trying.  I really can't expect anything for a while.  I have this utter impatience though.  I want it, and I want it now.  Even if I am afraid.  The last time I "tried" was after lots of losses and tries.  Yeah, I had sissy after that, with no trying, kind of more of an oops, and it went ok, but I still remember the other times.

Oh, and my old high school boyfriend got engaged yesterday.  Yay him.  Yeah, except I am waiting for it to end.  This is his second marriage, and like last time, it is a marriage after knowing each other for 3 months, with a woman who is insanely jealous.  She knows me and him talk, but to her, I am just an old high school friend that he barely knew.  She doesn't know we talk everyday on FB, chatting off and on most of the day, that I was his high school sweetheart, that most of the music he listens to comes from me, that a lot of his little quirks can be attributed to me(its interesting what you find out talking to someone after so long) and that I took his virginity.  Yeah.  Like I said, high school sweetheart.  He keeps stuff from our relationship in a locked box.  Yes, my husband knows we talk.  Yes, he reads the chats when he wants to.  Yes I know its odd.

Anyhow.  Pregnancy is all around me, now I just want it to hurry up and be me. 

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