When I first found myself not staying pregnant, becoming a person who wasn't going to be a mom easily, I really found myself wanting to be a mom. It consumed me, the need to be pregnant, to stay pregnant, to give birth to a little baby. I noticed other moms and got jealous. I watched other bloggers, and got jealous. Then I got pregnant. And it stuck. And I had the joy of feeling movement, the joy of giving birth. And then I did it again.
Now, I find that I am actually more eager now to get pregnant, because now I have memories of what being pregnant is, of how it feels. And instead of having something to imagine that I had never felt, now I had something real, something I knew. So now, with all the other bits about getting pregnant, will it work, will it stick, I find myself more than ready to feel a baby inside of me, to give birth.
It may sound strange, but knowing it, it now makes the want even worse.